Recognition of the problem is a good place to begin. Try not to have hurt feelings over this problem. It's a common couple occurrence. And, it’s not just men who suffer insipid sex. Women actually report boredom in the bedroom more often than men, according to research. Time to really man up guys!

There's something new on the menu for you. Set aside more time than you think you’ll need to satiate your sexual desires. Go in hungry, literally hungry. Be open. Be vulnerable. Own it. . Check your problems at the door. Keep the end game in mind. It’ll be fantastic, you’ll feel fulfilled and fabulous--if you follow my lead!

Chances are you have not satiated your sexual palate lately. Make a commitment together that the two of you will add flavour to your sexual repertoire. To do so, look no further than your own refrigerator--time to bring in the aphrodisiacs! Pour yourself a stiff drink. Then get out the whipping cream, chocolate sauce, honey, maple syrup and more. The ultimate in oral sex.

Now you’re getting it. Maybe it’s time to rekindle the flame somewhere other than your bedroom. Make love in the lav. Dim the lights, add candles. Think shower head. Excellent for experiencing sexual pleasure. Besides, it’ll make things hot and steamy. Place some thick luscious towels on the base of the tub and hop in. Run warm water, bask in your oasis.

Set up a smorgasbord of your favourite sensual flavours soon to be turned into sexual sensation delicacies. The softness of the whipping cream, the silkiness of chocolate, the sweetness of honey making a mess of maple syrup! Invite your lover to pick their favourite flavour gently applying, rubbing, massaging onto their erogenous zones. Touch, lick, taste. Oral love play.

Head for the shower, it’ll add some splash! With a little creativity, imagination, time and a towel, you’ll soon be asking, “what’s on the menu tonight, honey?”

The legend says that St. Patrick decreed that women could propose marriage on this one day, February 29th, which only occurs during a leap year. I'm sure the women were thrilled.

This tradition also stems from another tale about St. Patrick and St. Brigid in which she drops straight to her knee at Patrick's decree, instantly proposing to him. Patrick declined her offer – he was probably too busy saving Ireland from snakes – but he allegedly gave her a kiss on the cheek and a silk gown to soften the blow.

This, too, is dubious. Although many people believe that St. Patrick and St. Brigid met, and that she offered her vows to him, historically, Brigid would have been only nine or ten years old when Patrick died in 461 AD. If you believe he died later, however, in 493 AD, it may have been possible.

The tradition was then taken to Scotland by Irish monks.

Back in 1288, the Scots passed a law that allowed a woman to propose marriage to the man of her dreams in a Leap Year, with the law also stating that any man who declined the proposal on this day would have to pay a fine or provide a gift. The fine to be paid if a man declined the proposal ranged from a kiss to payment for a silk dress or a pair of gloves. In some upper-class European societies, the custom of denial involved buying 12 pairs of gloves for the woman you were rejecting. To hide her shame for not having a ring to wear, of course!

The law was allegedly passed by an unmarried Queen Margaret (although records show she may only have been five years old at the time).  She also put in place a rule that all those women proposing must wear a red petticoat while doing so.

Regardless of history, many women and men remain very traditional and believe it is the man’s duty to do the asking when it comes to dating, never mind marriage!  That’s where Hazel comes to mind. Hazel is a lively ninety-three-year-old patient of mine that I have been caring for for about three years who recently fell in love.

Hazel told me she had attended a dance on New Year’s Eve and a man had told her that she was a vert pretty woman. Although she was not attracted to this man, she said it made her feel very good. Hazel's mother had taught Hazel that vanity was a sin so she never allowed herself compliments. But at ninety-three that had finally changed. She may not have been attracted to this man that complimented her, but she was attracted to another man, she confessed and quite frankly when she spoke of him, she beamed. I could see that look of love in her eyes.

Hazel described this man who owns the beauty shop where she has her hair done. She thought he must be much younger than her as he has jet black hair. I thought he could be her age, given his unlimited access to hair dye. Hair dye is one of the main reasons for younger appearances.  Hazel was blonde.

She said he flirted with her and made her feel like a teenager again. At ninety-three, she felt better about herself than she ever had.  When she saw her dark haired stallion, her heart skipped a beat. It was the first time she experienced sexual desire/attraction since her husband had passed away twenty years prior. I could see the happiness in her face. Her cheeks were aglow and her smile was big as her heart. Hazel wondered if she should tell this man that she thought he was handsome. Sexual attraction is something that just happens involuntary, regardless of age.

In the spirit of Sadie Hawkins Day, I said why not?! The worst he can say is thank you and the best that can happen is you wind up back to the bedroom. So go for it ladies, call him or ask him out, propose marriage today in honour of Sadie Hawkins! What's the worst that can happen? You end up with twelve pairs of gloves. 

As a nurse continence advisor, I made the following recommendations:

• Drink 6-8 cups of water based fluids per day
• Distribute fluids evenly throughout the day between 9 am and 7 pm
• Conduct pelvic floor muscle exercises
• Do the “knack” with any cough or sneeze (a pelvic muscle maneuver to stop leakage)

I then asked Chloe if she experienced vaginal dryness and she did, in fact, she said that sex was painful. She attributed this to her stroke but I explained to Chloe that vaginal dryness is common as women age and this would have happened regardless of her stroke. The estrogen receptors in the vagina decrease in women from age 31 onward, and this may lead to vaginal dryness and, yes, painful sex. I explained the different available treatment options; from lubricants which would only be a temporary fix to hormone free personal moisturizers to low dose localized estrogen therapy. Chloe wanted to discuss these treatment options with her neurologist because she wondered if she was a candidate for the low dose localized estrogen. In the meantime, I suggested that Chloe try both of the hormone free options to see which type of delivery she preferred, an ovule or a gel.

One month after the initial visit, Chloe came in for her follow up visit. As I suspected, her neurologist was uncomfortable prescribing estrogen, even low dose with her history of a stroke. Chloe had tried both RepaGyn® (a hormone-free version of a personal moisturizer) and DrUAqua a cream personal moisturizer also hormone free that contains tea tree oil.  Chloe chose to continue using the RepaGyn®, a hormone free ovule inserted into the vagina nightly – I recommended she use RepaGyn® once daily for two months and then twice per week. She had  been using RepaGyn® for two weeks and was already feeling more moistness in her vagina.

Chloe was extremely grateful for the hormone-free option as she was extremely bothered by the fact that her intimate relationship with her husband was being interrupted. Chloe said she felt that getting her vaginal dryness treated was a stroke of luck. Feeling much better with increased sexual self esteem, Chloe was confident she would be getting back to the bedroom with the love of her life, the man who supported her in difficult times, her husband.

Dear Maureen,

I heard you mention RepaGyn® on your show and was wondering if it actually helps with female sexual desire? I'm 56 and just have no sexual desire/libido at all to have intercourse with my husband. I have been menstrual free for about 4 years now. I do suffer from vaginal dryness but also lack sexual desire. My doctor did a blood test and said I had barely any testosterone, and gave me some topical testosterone to use which did nothing to help my sexual desire/libido. Wondering if you have any suggestions for me.

Thank you,

Ms. S.

Dear Ms. S,

Thank you so for sharing your story which will help many women. Yes, RepaGyn® (a hormone-free personal moisturizer) helps to create a healthy vagina by creating a moist environment and helping to repair damaged tissue, which may indirectly help with your low sexual desire. When a woman experiences vaginal dryness, sex may be painful and her sexual sensation may decrease and therefore sex may not be pleasurable. Who wants to do anything that hurts? Hence, low sexual desire/libido.

There is no clinical evidence to support that testosterone will help women with low sexual desire. Some women report an increase in desire/libido with testosterone but the placebo effect is likely to account for it. The placebo effect is a beneficial effect, produced by a placebo or drug that cannot be attributed to the properties of either and therefore must be due to the patient’s belief that the treatment will work.

May I suggest that you take RepaGyn® as directed daily for two months for your vaginal dryness. You may notice your vagina is feeling better after two weeks. Having a healthy and moist vagina is a first step to regaining your lost libido.

I wish you luck in your quest to get back to the bedroom!

Maureen

Sexual desire is complex especially if you have been in long-term relationships as women tend to get bored by the same sexual partner. Being healthy by eating properly, getting enough exercise and sleep will help with your sexual self-esteem.

Comfort with your body is key, and touching yourself and knowing what feels good is paramount to increasing sexual desire. Having the confidence to parlay that information to your partner is vital to increase sexual desire. Engaging in a bit of dirty talk is also arousing during intimate moments. Fantasy is normal and integral to sexual satisfaction especially in a long term relationship. Is there someone you find particularly attractive? Close your eyes and think of that person during your romp in the hay.

V-Love^TM is a new sexual desire gel and a good lubricant that may help by increasing blood flow to your intimate areas. It too is natural and hormone free.

Knowing and understanding that sexual desire is not only integral to vaginal health but related to your overall health will get you back to the bedroom in no time!

Alex was a friend of a friend (Jane), and when Lucinda laid eyes on him she felt an instant attraction. Alex joined the ladies after dinner for a few drinks and that is when the heat really turned up on this chance meeting of two would-be lovers. Lucinda found Alex funny and fascinating. He had a mop of dirty blonde curls atop his head, downcast green eyes, and a crooked smile. He wasn’t really in that great of physical shape. She could not account for this intense physical attraction.

When her friends went to bed, Lucinda and Alex stayed up chatting until they hit the hot tub.  In the hot tub, the chatter turned to caressing, then kissing, then the release of the wonderful endorphins associated with making passionate love. Lucinda was forever changed. Since the ill-fated ski trip, she had conversed via text with Alex a few times, but could not seem to get him out of her mind. When Lucinda presented to my office she was a menagerie of emotion. Confused, nervous, and heartbroken she could not believe the result of her tryst. A romantic at heart but practical too, I could palpate her pain.

When women make love, the hormone oxytocin is released and the bonding hormone fuels the desire to cuddle after lovemaking. When men orgasm the key hormone released is dopamine, which accounts for a surge of pleasure for them. I could not help but think of these two hormonal differences when men and women make love, and I was not surprised that Lucinda would be the one hurt in this situation. I then thought of Alex and wondered if he could not get Lucinda off of his mind. Biologically speaking, I had my doubts.

Lucinda had much to consider, one of which was her betrayal towards John (who she seemed to have forgotten in light of the recent events). Lucinda would need to assess her current relationship and assess what was missing. Did Alex feel that same way? If she had Alex on her mind, she would be checking out of her relationship with John.  Lucinda chose to end her relationship and pursue Alex but, as it turns out, Alex had different ideas after all.  Although he said he was very attracted to Lucinda and thoroughly enjoyed their night of iniquity, he was well on his way to building a life with his girlfriend, Veronica, a medical student who he was very much in love with. Needless to say, Lucinda was heartbroken.

Women and men cheat for different reasons and both Lucinda and Alex were textbook cases. Women often cheat because they are bored, whereas men cheat because they are emotionally dissatisfied and underappreciated. Understanding neurochemistry and biology may have prevented Lucinda’s heartbreak. Perhaps she should be the one to go to medical school to learn how to avoid a broken heart and get her mind, heart and body back to the bedroom.