This societal malignancy of sexual harassment and workplace bullying, a common occurrence across every organization is difficult to understand. The good news is that these disgusting events ignited a firestorm in women and they began to speak up about their own situations. Most women have at least one. Hashtags like #MeToo and #MyHarveyWeinstein are pepper spraying the internet. And Harvey Weinstein never realized that Karma is actually....a woman. And Hell hath NO fury like a woman's scorn. Some men are now denouncing this behaviour but quite frankly guys it's too little and far too late.

But one might ask why don't women speak out about this soul and often career destroying behaviour? Worse, why do so few people who witness this behaviour fail to speak out or defend a target of a sexual harasser or bully? Fear. Fear all around. Fear that it was in their head for women (in part because we've been told we have hysteria for centuries). Fear that it would be perceived by others as their own fault because they had a drink or were dressed provocatively.

Those who witness sexual harassment or workplace bullying remain mum too. They're also scared. They don't want to lose their jobs. They may have been unemployed for a protracted period of time and fear job loss. Take Anna, a two bit scientist at a startup company, she was unemployed for three years when the rates of unemployment were at an all time low. How depressing is that? PhD and no job.

So when one of those startup companies was looking for a "scientist", she finally landed a job. She was hired because of her vulnerability because the head of the company was a narcissist. He thought he could abuse her and thought she would never call him on his abusive behaviour. He was right about one thing.

She witnessed many incidents of targeted workplace bullying and sexual harassment. However, early on, she got across to her boss that he was never to treat her the way he treated other women and he didn't. Why? She wielded some power. She learned her boss, a closeted gay man was having an affair with a well-known male politician. His out of work life consisted of cocaine fuelled addiction, depression, despair and men having sex with men.

She also knew the secrets of the science or lack thereof at this company and the promises to those who'd invested millions. Nothing there. According to her, his "solve a global problem" solution was a farce. It didn't work and she let him know it. Her job was safe. She held the power. As for abuse of the other women? Anna, mother of three young daughters, turned a blind eye.

Women are treated unfairly so often by men in the workplace. We are paid less and passed over for promotions, mansplained to and manipulated for sexual favours. Working in and outside of the home is often not too easy.

Unfortunately as the target of a sexual harasser or a workplace bully, without the support of colleagues, women are unarmed. They have no idea what to do and think there is nothing they can do. They blame themselves, try harder, become stressed may experience anxiety, heart palpitations, weight loss and sleep disruption. Many women suffer the effects of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder much like victims of war after they've been sexually assaulted, harassed, or bullied in the workplace.

There are some important things women can do to deal with this.

Here are my suggestions:

1. Document any quid pro quo behaviour by your abuser, i.e. sexual favours in exchange for a promotion or job.

2. Document date, time, place and any witnesses of behaviour

3. Document in a notebook not on your computer and keep it in a safe place.

4. Gather the evidence, text messages, sext messages, emails and voicemails.

5. Report the harassment at work, in writing. If you had a conversation about it, follow up with an email.

6. File a complaint with the BC Human Rights Tribunal or whatever regulatory body has jurisdiction over this. BC Human Rights Tribunal has a six month statute of limitations.

7. Hire an employment lawyer. They will often not charge you until a settlement is reached.

Unfortunately, settlements silence women but if a company has enough of them to pay out, then the culture may begin to change. There are times when a job isn't worth one's soul and the only real option may be to leave the company, soul intact.

Maureen McGrath is an expert on workplace bullying and sexual harassment, a sexpert, women's health expert and hosts the CKNW Sunday Night Sex Show . Maureen's TEDx Talk on No Sex Marriage: Masturbation, Loneliness, Cheating and Shame has had close to 6 million views in one year. Sexless marriage is a thing. Maureen is the creator of the blog 50ShadesofPink.ca and has a clinical practice in North Vancouver, British Columbia where she helps many couples in sexless marriages. Maureen is also available for SKYPE consults. Contact her at her website: Back To The Bedroom For more information about Mona Lisa Touch a new novel hormone-free therapy for vaginal dryness, painful sex, low sexual desire and urinary incontinence visit Mona Lisa Touch.

A consummate interviewer, Stu got right down to it inquiring about the sexual frequency of the millennials versus the menopausal. This was where I got to dispel some myths. Everyone thinks the millennials are having great sex. This flies in the face of conventional wisdom. The research doesn't support this and most millennials have less sex than baby boomers. That's in part because we associate sex with youth. Not true.

We live in such a sexualized society yet we remain prudish on the prose around sex. Because the subject of sex remains taboo, many people struggle with talking about it. Couples who may have been together for years suddenly go silent when struggles emerge between the sheets. From vaginal dryness to unresolved conflict, erectile dysfunction to anorgasmia, low sexual desire to division of household chores, fatigue, finances and infidelity, the problems with sex are endless and can wreak havoc on relationships.

When technology is the preferred bedfellow to a spouse, the same brain chemicals are released and provide pleasure equivalent to a good romp in the hay. There are other dangers too. You can be whomever you wish....on line. And you can cheat with someone you've never met.....on-line. And in this era of technology, it's never been easier to cheat.....or get caught. And....and...and....

Couples over the age of 50 can have their best sex ever as many women's sexuality awakens at this time of life. Many people especially women overcome their body image insecurities, free themselves from religious sex shrouds and have enough sexual experience (or not) to know what they want.

Although much of the advice around a good sex life centres on leading a healthy life through lifestyle, diet and exercise to increase blood flow, important for sexual function, there's clearly a need to add variety to spice things up especially in the long term relationship. Vulnerability and the willingness to explore is integral to a great sex life. Dirty talk has never been more important.

Since my interview with Stu aired, I've had countless emails from people recounting their sexual struggles. For the most part, it has been men reporting a frustration about things going down in the bedroom. Well everything except for them. Pun intended. Their wives no longer want to have sex with them!

The inclination is to blame their spouse but I am quick to point out that there may be one of many reasons their wives do not desire sex with them. Irritability, anger, depression, excessive alcohol consumption, substance use/abuse, workaholism, pornography, children, infidelity, weight gain and/or erectile dysfunction are just some of the many turn offs for women. One must take a look at themselves first. Blame is shame.

Men get turned off too and when a man doesn't desire sex with his wife, she may feel unloved, undesirable and lonely. The karyon of this may be his low testosterone level, depression, cannibis or erectile dysfunction. That said, he may no longer be attracted to his wife if she has gained weight. Or he may be getting sex elsewhere. It may sound shallow but this is no time to get offended. It's time to do something to help yourself and your marriage.

The fifty something crowd contacted me to say their sex life came to a screeching halt because of painful sex due to vaginal dryness. Many women opposed to taking any form of medication are unaware that not only are there hormone-free personal moisturizers, but a new laser therapy called Mona Lisa Touch is also available.

At the end of the interview Stu asked for my best advice. That is such a difficult question to answer because there exists an exorbitant amount of problems with sex, and just as many answers.

But I know this is true. When you confront a problem, you begin to treat it. Sex is important throughout life and there are significant risks such as infidelity, chronic masturbation and/or pornography when sex flies out the bedroom window whether you are in a same sex marriage or a heterosexual union.

Listen to your partner's concerns about your problems with sex. Your partner's sexual problems are your problems. If you don't listen and deal with any sexual dysfunction, you may find yourself with relationship problems. To listen to a Conversation That Matters with Stu McNish, here's the link: The Problems With Sex

Maureen McGrath hosts the Sunday Night Sex Show on News Talk 980 CKNW, is an avid blogger and an ardent feminist interested in equality. She shaves her legs, loves men and can take a joke. Her TEDx talk has had over 2.7 million views. She is in private practice in North Vancouver and author of the book: Sex & Health:Why One Can't Come Without The Other. She is Executive Director of the Women's Health Initiative Network. She loves Conversations That Matter About Sex.

They remained in a sexless marriage and became quite accustomed to pass as ships in the night. Other than their sex life, they enjoyed a happy life. They lived without financial troubles,  co-parented well, and enjoyed traveling together.

The problem? All of a sudden Ginny was making sexual advances toward him. He said he was no longer attracted to her in this way, and therefore was very confused. "No sex for fifteen years and out of the blue she seduces me?"

What Ginny told me was not surprising to me, but nonetheless was still very sad. After Ginny’s second baby was born while she was at the age of forty, Ginny was hit with vaginal dryness that resulted in so much sexual pain, she could not bear to participate in sex anymore.  She never spoke of this with Bill because the subject of sex was taboo for her due to her strong religious upbringing.

When she visited her doctor recently for a long overdue PAP smear, her doctor told her that her vaginal tissues were so dry and asked her if sex was painful. She burst out crying at the time when she confessed that her sex life was non-existent because of this longstanding vaginal pain.  Her doctor provided her with a non-hormonal solution, RepaGyn, a personal moisturizer, to restore her natural lubrication.  She decided she wanted to resume a sexual relationship with Bill.  Since Bill had never physically left their marriage, she assumed he was "being patient" all those years.

She found it confusing that Bill was not interested in sex because Ginny personally believed that a man would never turn down sex. There were many issues in this relationship, starting with communication. At some point, the truth would need to surface at the very least their own truths. Bill had become so frustrated building up resentment along the way in part because he had no understanding of why the sex stopped.

He never ever dreamed that the reason could be vaginal dryness with a resultant sexual pain, which IS a medical condition. It is time we honour the vagina and de-shroud the shame that surrounds this hollow muscular organ that provides not only a pathway for life but incredible pleasure for women.

Between mixed messages, shame and communication shutdown, combined with a lack of understanding of women’s vaginal health, breakdown in a marriage comes fast and furiously. Isn’t it better that women come fast and furiously and enjoy the sexual sensation of pleasurable sex?  There is a lot of intense therapy needed in this case for this couple to get back to the bedroom.

Dear Maureen,

Love your CKNW Sunday Night Sex Show. It is informative, engaging and really funny (especially some of those callers). At 44 years of age, I am not sexually active at the moment because I do not have a woman in my life. I am a bit worried because I really enjoy sex and am concerned that I might miss the boat because I cannot imagine people having sex past age 65. What if I never meet anyone? I will have had the shortest sex life ever! So my question is, “when do people stop having sex?”

Keep up the great work! Sincerely stuck in sexless land,

Ryan

Thank you so much for the great question, Ryan! Many people are curious whether or not so-called "old people" have sex. Let me put it to you this way: A 22 year old male patient of mine said to me, “So Maureen, when does sex end? 35?” You would have been done by now, Ryan, if it were up to that patient! We all have a different definition of what "older" means and what that means for someone’s sex life.

A person can enjoy a healthy sex life well into the 80’s and beyond as long as their health is good. There is no magic time when “being turned on gets turned off.” The healthier a person is, the better their sex life. That is why it is important to:

• Eat a healthy low sugar, low carb, high protein, plant-based diet;
• Exercise daily;
• Quit smoking;
• Keep alcohol to a minimum;
• Manage the stress of life with healthy strategies;
• Get help immediately for any health conditions that may arise.

There are a number of conditions that occur as we age that may impact one’s sex life such as:

• Low sexual desire
• Erectile dysfunction
• Urinary incontinence
• Vaginal dryness/vaginal atrophy

Conditions such as the ones listed above can make us feel less than desirable and desire less sex. There is no shame in any of these conditions; speak to your health care provider about any sexual health issues you may have as you age and remember that your genes may play a role in your health but YOU play the starring role! Also, many people are meeting online today but if that seems too daunting, you may engage the services of a Matchmaking Professional as they are once again making their debut in the dating world! Best of luck to you and your efforts to get back to the bedroom and thank you for listening!

Hi Maureen,

I listen to your Sunday Night Sex Show on CKNW sometimes. I am a 51 year old man and lately I have a problem sustaining erections when I'm with a woman but when I masturbate I generally have no problem having a good, strong rock hard erection.

What would cause this problem?

Thanks for your inquiry, Roger. I cannot say what the root cause of your issue would be as we have never met nor do I know your medical history. First, I would need more information, but I can say that this is a common issue faced by men like you. Masturbation causes less tension for men than sexual intercourse does, so I am wondering if you are anxious at all when getting ready or engaging in sex with a woman. You will want to be relaxed during this time, but make sure you do not relax with alcohol as this can actually kill an erection!

I'm curious about a few things:

• Psychological arousal when with the woman you referred to
• Satisfaction with sex (ie. has it been disappointing in the past or have you experienced sexual incompatibility?)
• Physical condition
  • Do you smoke
  • Do you drink alcohol (and how much)
  • Healthy weight
  • Abdominal girth
  • Undue stress
  • Emotional health
  • Feelings of guilt
  • Sugar consumption
• Any compounding issues that would increase stress (ie. having sex with a married woman, having an extramarital affair etc.)

These are some of the questions your primary healthcare provider may ask. A sexual health assessment and physical exam would be beneficial to help get to the root of the issue. I recommend that you speak to your family physician as it may be (but likely isn't) something like diabetes. Your family physician would do a proper physical exam and check your blood pressure, heart rate, conduct a genital exam, Digital Rectal Exam (DRE) and perhaps do some blood work such as a testosterone level and/or blood sugar level.

Chances are, there is nothing serious going on but to give you piece of mind those are my thoughts based on the information provided. Keep in mind that this is common and that there are many treatment strategies to consider (depending upon the diagnosis, of course).  If it turns out to be psychological in nature, getting to the bottom of that would be helpful and please take solace in the knowledge that there are treatments so you can rock your erections once again when you are with a woman!

I hope that helps you rock it and get back to the bedroom - best of luck and thanks for listening!