A consummate interviewer, Stu got right down to it inquiring about the sexual frequency of the millennials versus the menopausal. This was where I got to dispel some myths. Everyone thinks the millennials are having great sex. This flies in the face of conventional wisdom. The research doesn't support this and most millennials have less sex than baby boomers. That's in part because we associate sex with youth. Not true.

We live in such a sexualized society yet we remain prudish on the prose around sex. Because the subject of sex remains taboo, many people struggle with talking about it. Couples who may have been together for years suddenly go silent when struggles emerge between the sheets. From vaginal dryness to unresolved conflict, erectile dysfunction to anorgasmia, low sexual desire to division of household chores, fatigue, finances and infidelity, the problems with sex are endless and can wreak havoc on relationships.

When technology is the preferred bedfellow to a spouse, the same brain chemicals are released and provide pleasure equivalent to a good romp in the hay. There are other dangers too. You can be whomever you wish....on line. And you can cheat with someone you've never met.....on-line. And in this era of technology, it's never been easier to cheat.....or get caught. And....and...and....

Couples over the age of 50 can have their best sex ever as many women's sexuality awakens at this time of life. Many people especially women overcome their body image insecurities, free themselves from religious sex shrouds and have enough sexual experience (or not) to know what they want.

Although much of the advice around a good sex life centres on leading a healthy life through lifestyle, diet and exercise to increase blood flow, important for sexual function, there's clearly a need to add variety to spice things up especially in the long term relationship. Vulnerability and the willingness to explore is integral to a great sex life. Dirty talk has never been more important.

Since my interview with Stu aired, I've had countless emails from people recounting their sexual struggles. For the most part, it has been men reporting a frustration about things going down in the bedroom. Well everything except for them. Pun intended. Their wives no longer want to have sex with them!

The inclination is to blame their spouse but I am quick to point out that there may be one of many reasons their wives do not desire sex with them. Irritability, anger, depression, excessive alcohol consumption, substance use/abuse, workaholism, pornography, children, infidelity, weight gain and/or erectile dysfunction are just some of the many turn offs for women. One must take a look at themselves first. Blame is shame.

Men get turned off too and when a man doesn't desire sex with his wife, she may feel unloved, undesirable and lonely. The karyon of this may be his low testosterone level, depression, cannibis or erectile dysfunction. That said, he may no longer be attracted to his wife if she has gained weight. Or he may be getting sex elsewhere. It may sound shallow but this is no time to get offended. It's time to do something to help yourself and your marriage.

The fifty something crowd contacted me to say their sex life came to a screeching halt because of painful sex due to vaginal dryness. Many women opposed to taking any form of medication are unaware that not only are there hormone-free personal moisturizers, but a new laser therapy called Mona Lisa Touch is also available.

At the end of the interview Stu asked for my best advice. That is such a difficult question to answer because there exists an exorbitant amount of problems with sex, and just as many answers.

But I know this is true. When you confront a problem, you begin to treat it. Sex is important throughout life and there are significant risks such as infidelity, chronic masturbation and/or pornography when sex flies out the bedroom window whether you are in a same sex marriage or a heterosexual union.

Listen to your partner's concerns about your problems with sex. Your partner's sexual problems are your problems. If you don't listen and deal with any sexual dysfunction, you may find yourself with relationship problems. To listen to a Conversation That Matters with Stu McNish, here's the link: The Problems With Sex

Maureen McGrath hosts the Sunday Night Sex Show on News Talk 980 CKNW, is an avid blogger and an ardent feminist interested in equality. She shaves her legs, loves men and can take a joke. Her TEDx talk has had over 2.7 million views. She is in private practice in North Vancouver and author of the book: Sex & Health:Why One Can't Come Without The Other. She is Executive Director of the Women's Health Initiative Network. She loves Conversations That Matter About Sex.

But it's no time to applaud Fox News. By no means. They've been part and parcel to this criminal activity for a very long time now. The right thing for Fox News to have done would have been to fire Bill O'Reilly years ago when the accusations surfaced. But the stakes were too high and Fox News chose money over women's lives. Fox News sentenced many women (the accusations are still coming in) to years of sex harassment, abuse, suffering, emotional pain, job loss and anxiety to name a few.

The good news is that Fox News will no longer continue to indemnify. No longer can old rich white men be enabled by other old rich white men so they can buy their way behind a microphone. This criminal activity needs to end and these dirty old rich white men need to eat pea sandwiches and water behind bars!

Finally Fox News has chosen women's lives over the bottom line. The fight has been worthwhile indeed. It's not a time to give up ladies! A woman's work is never done! Ladies, it's a time for bravery. Stand up for yourself. Come forward. Speak up. You have rights. Stand up for them. There's strength in numbers! The wall is crumbling.

For the last Bill O'Reilly story https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/19/business/media/bill-oreilly-fox-news-allegations.html

Maureen McGrath is an ardent feminist and hosts the Sunday Night Sex Show on News Talk 980 CKNW.

And we will drink……. Nasty Woman Cocktails.

Why am I doing this?? I overheard someone say, “what ever are we going to talk about once the US election is over?” Are you kidding me, I thought? An angry old white guy tells the world that he can grab our pussies without our consent because of some ill perceived power? Women the world over woke up, shocked, disgusted and angry and and I was one of them. 94 million women took to twitter to share their personal stories of sexual assault when writer Kelly Oxford put a call out for women to share them.  You wonder what we will talk about after we elect a President?

Cassandra MacLean, a psychic who will be in the house on November 12, 2016 predicted I would face a significant challenge prior to this big event. How right she was! A series of disappointments ensued not only at work but also in my…. yes my circle of….girlfriends! Ugh! Time for my very own pity party!

I then did what any good Irish Catholic girl would do at her pity party; I counted my blessings; roof over my head, food on my plate, ability to look down at the grass. But “none of it” was doing it which reminded me of Nunavut, the newest, largest, northernmost, and least populous territory of Canada with one of the biggest problems for women. Nunavut boasts the highest rate of infant mortality in Canada, a rate five times higher than the country’s average, according to Stats Canada 2012. Our babies are dying. Our sisters suffer. My heart is breaking.

I am working during my "pity party" when Jane a 52-year-old weary looking woman presented to my clinical practice. She had been sexually abused as a child by her mother’s boyfriend and her mother didn’t believe her when she told her. Her story is far too common. Longstanding anxiety, she never enjoyed a healthy intimate relationship, common amongst the "1/5 of women who are raped at some point in their lives," according to National Sexual Violence Resource Centre. Ladies, we need to believe girls and women. No man is worth your daugher's soul even if it is your husband, boyfriend, uncle, son.....Women usually know their abusers.

At age 19, Julie’s doctor prescribed powerful narcotics (hello Fentanyl) for shoulder pain. Julie’s father had been deported for beating her mother which rendered her incapacitated, unable to work. Julie, the family breadwinner had anxiety as a result and was now at risk for addiction. Anxiety is the most common mental illness in Canada and financial stress a major contributor. Ladies, let’s de-stigmatize mental illness and addiction.

My pity party in full tilt, I realize "hurt people hurt" but that’s not my style. However, social media IS so I turned to her and considered a “look at how amazing my life is photo-shopped post” except no selfie stick was long enough to hide my own pain or imperfections. But that is OK. I usually feel pretty darn good in a flannel nightie, sweater, wool socks, hunter boots, hair tossed up, coffee in hand on my computer. If only you could see the real me.

I was about to see my last patient of the day. It’s actually night time but keep in mind, women work twice as hard for half the pay. Need I say more?

Johnny, a strapping 22-year-old jock who lay motionless in his hospital bed from the chest down because of a traumatic spinal cord injury. I said hey kiddo, you look SO much better than the last time I saw you. His smile lit up the room as he burst out laughing and said, “well I hope so!”  My pity party came to a screeching halt. Johnny’s smile, my opiate, his laughter pure love.

His mother sat vigil by his bedside since his injury, taking leave from her job, not to mention her life as she knew it. Mothers working in and outside of the home, financial issues, multitasking and oh that glass ceiling. Are there other moms like us?

Sarah an 84-year-old patient once told me that in “her day” wives were not invited to company Christmas parties. Women couldn’t have purses at their desks either and were forced to give their job to single ladies, once their pregnancy was revealed. We’ve come a long way baby. Not.

Women have been hurt throughout history. Roe V. Wade. Right to Vote. Right to say no to husband's request for sex (1993).

We can blame men all we want, but the time has come for women to support women. The truth is we don’t always do so. We gossip, judge, exclude, and aren’t all that happy when other women succeed. We’re mean girls all grown up. We keep secrets which breeds shame. And we are teaching all of this to our daughters. We need to break this cycle but first we need to break the silence.

When women are not united, we are perceived as weak. Men get away with sexism, misogyny, sexual assault, pay inequity, and pussy grabbing when there is dissension in a group. Don’t get me wrong, there are many good men in this world which is why men are on the invitation list. I am not blaming women either because women have been socialized this way for what our mothers and others may have taught us.

We will never solve the problems that plague women today with the same mindset that perpetuates societal malignancies like sexism, misogyny, sexual assault and discrimination, glass ceilings. We must share our secrets to success at home and in our careers. Women need to unite through connection, compassion and networking.

Behold feminine power and reclaim your pussy!  Let's support each another. There is no better medicine than hearing another woman say, “I believe you” or “I’ve been there.”  Let the healing begin. We must continue talking about women’s rights long after the US Presidential election is over. That is what the Vancouver Women’s Conference on November 12, 2016 at the Fairmont Pacific Rim is all about. Proceeds to Ending Violence Association British Columbia. Get ready to be wowed!

If you take one small step now, miracles are bound to happen.

To purchase your tickets, go to: vancouverwomensconference.com

I endeavored to write this blog to raise awareness about women’s sexuality because women's vaginal and sexual health is important to overall health, intimacy, and relationships.  A healthy sexuality takes introspection and candid communication. Sexuality is seldom discussed in our society and vaginal health even less so. The more women understand how their "ladybits” work, the better our lives and relationships will be.

For any of my more recent readers, and also for those who want to refresh their memory or perhaps missed a post, here is my gift to you... a wrap up of the past year's most popular articles.

xo, Maureen

Click the titles of the articles to read that post!

Replens vs RepaGyn: What’s the Difference?

Many women ask me about various personal moisturizers and which one is “the best” – well, there are many good and effective options out there and it’s really up to a woman’s personal preference. I will present the options and pros of each and let the woman make her own decision.

5 Tips to a Better Sex Life

There is a plethora of reasons as to why one’s sex life may be in the slumps… but I’m here to say that there are plenty of things you can do to spice things up and get Back to the Bedroom! In this article, I break down 5 easy ways to do just that!

LovePanky: Women & Sexual Fantasies

Yes, women have sexual fantasies too and it’s important as it can help to increase sexual desire and arousal. In this article I break down a few ways to help you break the ice and make your fantasy a reality in the bedroom.

A Fish Named Wanda

A patient of mine and her husband were not sexually active and she suspected he was communicating with other women via social media. She believed that her husband’s erectile dysfunction issues were related to recent weight gain and was looking for ways to help him and save her marriage.

Coconut Oil is Just One Option for Managing Vaginal Dryness

Vaginal dryness is a common health condition and many women are looking for natural remedies. One of my patients, a new mom who was breastfeeding, had heard about using coconut oil and she asked me about it. Coconut oil is an option for managing the symptoms of dryness but it will not treat the condition.

Aligning the Stars

A divorced patient came to me when she heard a radio ad for a sexual desire gel – she wanted to delve back into the dating world but was experiencing vaginal dryness and was afraid this would get in her way.

Understanding and Managing Vaginal Dryness (Video)

I am so passionate about educating women about vaginal dryness/vaginal atrophy and how it is just as important to moisturize your vagina as it is your face! Watch the 4-minute video from this televised program with Canadian Health & Family.

Rock Hard Erections When I Masturbate, Wish I Could Experience the Same with a Woman

I received an email from a man who listened to my Sunday Night Sex Show on the radio – he explained that he had trouble sustaining an erection with a woman, but not when he masturbated and wondered what the reason for that might be.

 7 Steps to Satisfying Sex with Mr. Big

Penis size is always a “hot topic” and sometimes for women, being with a well-endowed man could actually cause sex to be painful. In this article I break down a few tips to ensure that sex is as satisfying as it should be!

Don’t Let Vaginal Dryness or Vaginal Atrophy Affect Your Life Any Longer

Vaginal dryness is a common health condition and if not properly managed or treated, can lead to a worsening state of vaginal atrophy. It is important to seek help – you don’t have to live with vaginal dryness and you are not alone!

Recently I attended a women's event and realized just how little we have gained in terms of equality since these events. To my surprise, many of these highly accomplished women believe there needs to be quotas to increase the percentage of women on boards. Why quotas when women are qualified to be on boards based upon their own merit? Who wants to be the woman on the board who was there but perceived not to actually be qualified by the men?

Women spoke about rules of behaviour when dealing with men, such as acting like one of the guys by dropping the “F” bomb in order to be accepted, or missing out on valuable meeting time because they did not play golf. One woman stood up and said to the crowd of about 250, “We need to tell men how valuable we are. What century is this?"

I will never explain my value to a man or anyone else. Their Loss.

I am not sorry for being a woman (more on that later) or for missing a shot on the tennis court or because I asked a question on an all-male board before my requisite year was up or some other innocuous reason.  Don't Be Sorry.

I will never devalue myself by saying I am just a woman,  just a nurse, just a lover, I just have a question,  just a whatever….. Just Value Yourself!

I tell it like it is. Call a spade a spade. I have no fear about anyone disagreeing with me and I am happy to put forth my opinion, prior to the general consensus and will stand by it.  Don't Live In Fear. 

I am happy with my imperfectly perfect body. It is my tomb. It provides me with pleasure, gets me places, and allows me to see above the crowd sometimes. It's multiple functions are like a symphony orchestra where I am the conductor in tune with my body.  It does not disappoint me and I do not want to disappoint my body which is why I am grateful for and respectful of it.  Love Your Body.

People talk.  I hear nasty things that one person has said about me to another.  If people are talking about me their lives must be incredibly dull.  Keep Talking.

If I hear someone talking about you my sister friend, I will not engage and I will ask them to stop. End Gossip. 

As a woman in business I have had many people (men and women) support me and many who have not.  Some have tried to take me down with everything from veiled threats to outright lies.  I love those who support me and forgive those who don't.  Often the nastiness propel me forward.  Forgiveness Is a Gift You Give to Yourself.

In the workplace I have dealt with sociopaths and sexual harassers. Don't Let Them Steal Your Light. 

As a woman speaking publicly about sex, many men make assumptions.  Ladies, if you find an email that your husband sent to me or another woman for that matter, understand that your problem lies with your husband.  End Slut Shaming.

Most people believe that I am like the country I live in, “everything came too easily to me.”  The recipe for my success has been the right dose of need, desire, creativity, love, loneliness, hard work, reality, sacrifice, loss, perseverance, persistence, heartache, anxiety, openness, joy, beauty, helping others, sharing, caring, losing, Karma, failure, ideas, inclusion, exclusion, opportunity, pushing past barriers, gender bias, kindness, family, discrimination, being belittled, berated, late nights, early mornings, hikes, tennis, music, the ocean, my kayak, friends, chats, tears, standing alone, standing together, sexual harassment, workplace bullying, sickness and health.... No one said it was going to be easy.  No Regrets. 

I am a warrior woman but sometimes I weep. That said, I do whirl with joy. At times, I win. The joy of the win has been a result of whatever the cause may have been, feeling the disappointments along the way and the wonder of my perseverance. Never Give Up.

I try my best but sometimes it does not work. Keep Trying.

Sometimes life is not fair BECAUSE I AM A WOMAN. But, I love being a woman and have no shame that I am "all woman." As a feminine feminist I own my sexuality and desire equality for all women whether it be for access to health care and education, equal pay, shared chores, reproduction or legal rights, front-line combat and land ownership. Women’s Rights Are a Critical Issue.

On this day when we celebrate the 100-year anniversary of women ascertaining the right to vote in Manitoba, I realize we have many more years to go before women will be perceived and accepted as equal to men.  Know Your Worth.

So let's take a page out of our foremother’s book and launch a vigorous and ambitious campaign to seek equality for all women, by women who have a passion to change the world. This begins with each and every woman.  Good men welcome too.  Let's band together. We Are Stronger Together. 

 THE EVENING

The evenings began with a cocktail reception with a wine donation from Barefoot Ladies which was a nice compliment to the appetizers provided by Teva, a women’s health company specializing in hormone therapy. The ~200 women at each event were then ushered into the theatre to view the movie Hot Flash Havoc, a laugh out loud documentary on the truth about estrogen and vaginal health. It’s an enlightening, informative and downright hilarious film giving women what they need to learn about menopause. It is a retrospective review of the confusion around hormone therapy.

SPONSORS & VENDORS

The title sponsor for this event was Tyros Biopharma, makers of Gynatrof, an over the counter, non-prescription, hormone -free  lubricant and personal moisturizer for vaginal dryness. Vaginal dryness is common at this time of life and may advance to vaginal atrophy, a chronic condition that affects approximately 80% of women and requires treatment with low dose localized estrogen therapy.  Our hot pink V-Bags contained vital information about vaginal health and every women left with this little goody bag. There were also other options available women to discover including V-Love, an all natural gel, and RepaGyn®, an all natural ovule. Also, Zestra®, a new sexual desire gel, made it’s Canadian debut at Hot Flash in the City!

Given the importance of the pelvic floor, I invited sponsors from Pelvienne Wellness to the Elise Tens Device by Mother’s Choice to connect with the ladies. It was great to have Alan Glasser (Pharmacist) of Mark’s Pharmacy and host of Healthworks Radio on hand to answer questions on everything from supplements, vitamins, and the pelvic floor at midlife. Dr. Nicolas Jensen, Dr. Sonya Jensen and Dr. Pamela Smith from Divine Elements was there. They are  focused on developing a personalized preventative health program for women during menopause encouraging women to be their best selves, which is key to improving sexual desire!

The list continues... Mary Kay, Tupperware, Stella and Dot, Sierrasil... they were all there! As a delightful surprise, the ladies from Mary Kay gave me eyebrows, red lips, and contours with such care. The eyelashes? I gave those over to Younique’s millionaire mascara. Stella and Dot adorned me with the most beautiful necklace and earrings which made my outfit. By the time I got on stage, I felt like a million bucks! The Nerium booth was also busy beautifying women who had a desire to stop the aging process. What woman doesn't? Nerium’s innovative formulations provide true breakthroughs in anti-aging. Bring it on, baby!

Essential oils were also on hand and the nurses outlined the benefits of this aromatic therapy. Did you know that ginger oil heats up arousal and increases libido? Fitness Foods was also there educating about healthy eating made easy which is vital during menopause, a time when many women feel weight is all too easily gained (especially around the mid section). No stone was left un-turned the husband and wife duo from Petersen Wellness & Massage Therapy Clinic were on hand to discuss the benefits and treatment options provided by acupuncture and massage. They offered a free 10 minute massage and AcuGraph assessment. Patricia Petersen was there with acupuncture and her husband brought out the massage chair. If only I had had time to have them assess me and give me a massage! Many women did, however. Self care and stress management are key during menopause.

And last, but certainly not least, the Womanizer wowed the crowd! We generally associate a "Womanizer" with pain, but this little clitoral stimulator is revolutionary in delivering pleasure. A hands-free touchless,  clitoral stimulator that provides a suckling action and comes in many colours (ahem..pun intended.) The womanizer is sure to provide women with the ride of a lifetime... the most intense orgasm ever! This unique technology provides stimulation of the clitoris without any contact and women experience an incredible sensation of ecstasy. Isn’t that a nice reward for all of the hard work women do? Guys, you gotta up your game! The Womanizer is available in my Shop: back2thebedroom.ca.  

SPECIAL THANKS

There's a few special "thank yous" that I would like to extend...

• None of this would have occurred without the incredible organizational and logistical skill of Trina Hemstead of Nimbletree. Nimbletree managed budgets, social media, ticket sales and was responsible for making a splash with Hot Flash!
• Thanks to Krauseberry Farms wine along with Barefoot Ladies Wine for their generous donation.
• A special thanks to Pro-Energy Weight Loss for providing the beautiful gift basket for a lucky lady out in Coquitlam; a week’s worth of weight loss products is sure to kick start anyone’s weight loss in time for the holiday parties!
• Thanks to all those who attended this event! Considering all of the emails I have received, we have taken a great first step in educating women with up to date information about menopause and what women need to know to enjoy a great quality of life and an even better sex life at midlife!
• Thanks to those who donated - we were able to raise some funds and make donations to BC Alzheimer’s Society, Movember and EVA BC.

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